The Recession is Bullhonkey Danielas Story - When I Grow Up

The Recession is Bullhonkey Danielas Story - When I Grow Up Danielas quote is written over her Magic Garden Art print, which you can buy right here. This is part of  The Recession is Bullhonkey series, where I share stories of those who have gotten hired and/or started their own businesses (or sometimes both!) since 2008.  Daniela Dumitriu  was in my March 2014 session of Career Camp  (all the way from Romania!), and she blew me away with a recent update of what shes put into motion since we wrapped up just 6 short months ago. I cant wait to share her inspiring story with you! Looking back 10 years ago I thought I was on the right path, becoming spiritual and enlightened. I immersed myself deeply into gratitude, giving to others, letting go of all the judgements, eating   vegan and so forth. For the first time in my life, I started to feel loved and have success. My work involved helping others heal emotionally and physically and it felt good to receive their deep appreciation. So I thought I was doing everything right. Until one day, 6 years ago, I just felt that something was completely off. Little by little I was forced by my body to stop working and I did that for a while, but because I didn’t know what else to do for a living and I knew I was so good at helping others, I still wanted to pursue that path. And this was the moment when my body said ENOUGH. I crashed with exhaustion and became very ill. I didn’t understand what was happening since I was doing everything so right. It took me 6 years to fight my logic mind and give up. It was December 2013, I was bedridden with an autoimmune disease, severe chronic fatigue and feeling almost suicidal because I didn’t see the point of living anymore. Everybody around me (doctors, alternative healers, mentors, friends, family) advised me to start medical treatments, pursue a religious path  and basically start doing things like everybody else (even if I don’t like it) because there is no other way. I was lying in my bed and all of the sudden I became aware that if I am going to die, I would feel a terrible regret of not allowing myself to live fully, for my own joy. And I started to realize in that moment how everything I was doing to heal myself actually exhausted me even more. I didn’t like going to doctors, I didn’t like the Chinese master   who treated me, I didn’t like my friends, didn’t like my family, my life, I didn’t like anything. I felt empty and hopeless. I just wanted to be happy. I didn’t know what would make me feel this way and for a while this made me feel terribly depressed. So because I couldn’t say what made me happy, I focused on what didn’t. I started by trimming everything that felt toxic to me. I was afraid that this would mean that I would feel even more empty and even more alone. But I could also see how everything I chose to do for my own healing was wrong. So I decided to make a huge step and just jump into the unknown. The second day, I canceled all my future appointments with doctors , healers and coaches, just because it felt draining to be with them. By making space for new things into my life, I started to recover miraculously and to feel what was really joyful for me. It took me several months to go from being unable to walk, eat, sleep and connect with others, to go out and have fun attending to drum circles, improv workshops and other playful activities. Another thing that happened miraculously was that by giving up everything I knew about energy healing and the ways I thought would help me recover, I received more than I imagined: all of a  sudden I realized that by going within and feeling my feelings deeply I can release them easily (which never happened to me before even when I worked with top mentors and energy healers around the globe) and receive insightful messages from them. This process brought a huge awareness coming from within and not form outside and with it, extraordinary doors started to open for me. I suddenly became highly creative, feeling this fantastic urge coming from inside, pushing me to paint and draw, things I was never attracted to before. Every month I gained more clarity about what felt nourishing for me and what didn’t. And every time, my body kept forcing me to choose what felt right for me, with no regrets and without feeling guilty. I started to realize that healing really comes from within and it involves being true to yourself, no matter what everybody else says. So if I would have to say what were the gifts of this experience I would say this : being spiritual doesn’t mean you have to do spiritual rituals, yoga, Tai chi, meditation, go to church, eating vegan or pray.  I am not saying that these things are not good or helpful, because they really are if you are resonating with them. I am saying that for some people, like me, spirituality can take a different approach. To me, being spiritual rather means accepting yourself fully, loving your unique weird quirky self like your life depends on it, doing what you really love, being with people who feel nourishing to you and detaching from anything that doesn’t resonate with you, not from a place of anger or hate, but from a place of I choose what feels good to me, and I let you choose what feels good to you too”. Being spiritual for me means to listen to my heart and follow my spirit’s joy which is mainly about playing, having lots of fun and be silly, just because this feels nourishing to me. trying to please others or feel responsible for their feelings is not helping them (or you for that matter). When we do this, we are not allowing them to learn their own lessons and feel their own feelings. We stop them from connecting with their hearts and inner wisdom, and when we choose to detach form people who want us to feel responsible for them because they don’t want to evolve,   we are helping ourselves to maintain the brighter light   within. I had to learn the hard way how to say no to people who were negatively attached to me and wanted me to join their pain. One has to always choose what makes her happy no matter what because this is the way she can really honor her spirit and by doing this continuously, she shifts her environment and life starts presenting new wonderful opportunities. surrendering to what your body feels is the key to true recovery and joy.  Your body knows what feels right for you and she will let you know through sensations and feelings what is best for you (or not). Mary Oliver says it best: You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” 10 years ago I used to think that feeling grateful for anything (even if I didn’t like it) and non judgmental is a sure path toward spirituality and health. Today I know that my body felt ill, my heart was empty and I couldn’t point what was joyful to me anymore because I didn’t allow myself to dislike things and people that my body didn’t resonate with.   The heart’s language is showing us through our likes and dislikes what feels joyful and nourishing and what doesn’t. I thought that not giving voice to my dislikes and accepting everything around me would be the most spiritual thing possible, not knowing that this made me swallow things that were not tasty at all. By havi ng clarity each day on what feels good and nourishing to me and what doesn’t , by listening to my body’s messages and to my heart’s wisdom and intuition, I started to recover naturally, without medical help. And to receive the gifts of creativity, joy and physical energy, that I was so much longing for in the last 6 years So when I started to focus on my joy (which in the beginning meant only to watch comic tv shows and cartoons, until I was able to go out and spend more time in nature and paint) and choose  coaches that were funny and had an easy approach, I found myself in a totally different place and it felt better each day. This is how I found Michelle. I was looking for online programs who were able to help me find my joyful life purpose because I knew that this is going to help me heal faster and I didn’t want to go back to my old way of working as a energy healer, life coach and therapist by listening to other peoples problems and feeling drained. I was already aware of some things , but she helped me confirm once more that everything I felt it was right and joyful for me, it really was going to lead me toward a nourishing career. Today I am still not fully recovered and I know this is a process, but by daily taking the actions I mentioned briefly above, I know I am moving closer and closer to live the life I am dreaming of. Beginning this summer I felt inspired to create my own website where I share my story, artwork and creative projects, and a few months ago I decided to create an English version of it, which actually helped me become more connected with other wonderful creative people from all over the world. During Career Camp I wrote two stories for children of all ages inspired by my own joyful healing journey, and one of them became my first free Ebook available for my subscribers. After this first step, the universe just started to present even more opportunities, like opening my art prints online shop on Society 6. It felt joyful to be able to post my inspiring art and see that people are now appreciating me for choosing to pursue what makes me happy. People are now saying to me that they feel inspired by my art and story and this feels amazing. Even writing this article for Michelle’s blog was a lesson of surrendering and trusting that Life knows best what works for me and what doesn’t. A few weeks ago I was searching on the internet for a marketing online course that could fit into my creative way of thinking but couldn’t find anything resonating with me. I remembered reading a story of a woman who attracted thousands of visitors on her blog in only one day, after writing a blog post for a well known blogger which in return made her blog address famous. And I thought, wow, that’s an interesting option, although I don’t know how is going to happen for me. And then I said to myself, there must be an easier way to attract kindred people by just staying in a wonderful, joyful, playful creative zone. And I felt relaxed, knowing that Life has its own miraculous ways to solve things. And two days later, Michelle invited me to write my story, which you are now reading, for her amazing Recession is Bullhonkey series full of stories of extraordinary women! I felt honored and   grateful knowing that the Universe showed up when I let go once more and my story will be known by people who may be truly resonating with me. So these days I am practicing how to surrender what doesn’t belong to me anymore and stay connected to what does, trusting that Life brings abundance when I connect with my joy. It is never easy but if I am willing to let go, something beautiful always happens. So I want to end my story with a note that I feel is very important for you to know: please don’t imagine that doing these things is very easy to me. Don’t imagine that I don’t fight being resistant before I surrender. I have my enlightened moments when I do, but mostly, its always about maintaining a sharp focus on what is truly important for me in that particular moment and then allowing it to unfold as it wants to by leaving behind the shoulds” and the opinions of others. It is not at all easy, but its fun to watch what happens when you do surrender. And if I would have to add a final thing to what I shared here it would be this: don’t judge yourself for being where you are. Don’t listen to other peoples stories about who you are supposed to be and what is wrong with you. You are fine, you are more than perfect and you just need to focus on what is right about you. And trust Life, which always has wonderful gifts to offer you, when you surrender everything you know to her. After all, look at me: I never painted in my life until now and I am 50. I never knew this creative side of me. And my message is this: is never too late to start pursuing your happiness which could actually become   your very joyful career. Daniela Dumitriu  is a self taught artist with a background in life coaching, Feng Shui consultancy and energy healing, with an affinity for playful healing arts. She started to recover miraculously from having severe Chronic Fatigue and depression by choosing to follow her joy. She now loves to inspire others as well to follow their hearts and trust Life. She is currently working on her new ecourse to help others realize that HEALING CAN BE FUN (you can download her free ebook with the same name as part of her upcoming course here). You can connect with her via Facebook and she invites you to take a look at her inspirational art prints online shop here.